Rules for the First Date Night After Baby
You just had your baby a few weeks (or months) ago. Grandmas from both sides are eagerly waiting to opportunity to pamper you and dote on the newest addition to the family. You are (beyond) ready to get out of the house with your significant other and baby has been taking a bottle very well! Everything is adding up to allow you and your partner some much needed and well deserved time out of the house. But what to do?! You may feel nervous leaving your little one for the first time, and not to mention how tired you are. If you do want to go on your first date night after baby, here are some ideas that may help you feel the most comfortable during your much deserved time out of the house. Remember, everyone's families are unique and everyone has their own unique feelings. These are some general tips that we have found helpful!
Rule #1, Expectations
At Doulas of Denver, we recommend not having too high of expectations on your first date night after having a baby. A lot has changed physically and emotionally for you two, and it is easy to have the stakes really high on this night. But we encourage you, don't. Go out as two parents ready to enjoy yourselves. By all means, you deserve that. Understand that dynamics have shifted before going into the date, and embrace those changes as much as you want to and can.
Rule #2, Conversation
And don't pull the "Lets not talk about the baby" card. Trust us, its impossible. There is a point where you are able to not talk about your children, but if it doesn't happen organically, it isn't worth it. You can talk about your experiences. Open up and be vulnerable. You can talk about how much baby's nose looks just like Daddy's. You can talk about how hard it is to wake up 6x a night. You can talk about how you didn't realize just how much you would love this little baby. It is okay. Do not force yourself not to talk about the biggest and most beautiful change in your life. All it does is create awkward silence. If the silence is there naturally, wonderful. But dont put limitations on conversational topics, especially topics that you KNOW you both want to talk about.
Rule #3, Proximity
Stick close if you are nervous. Going out the first time after having a baby can bring up a lot of emotions, even if you are excited about it! If you are hesitant to go out, maybe try sticking close to your home. That way you can come home to nurse or say hi to baby if you need to in between activities, and you will feel comfortable being so close in case something happened (nothing will happen, BUT for the peace of mind... stick close if it will help)
These ideas for helping you enjoy your first date night are only a starting point for you and your significant other. Do what best feels best to you two. No two couples are the same and each family has their own circumstances that will influence how you two have fun together. You should know that at Doulas of Denver, we support you trying to re-kindle that closeness and affection that you two deserve! Parenting is life changing and can be challenging, you definitely deserve some fun!