Dear New Mom, All I Want For You
Dear New Mom, As a postpartum doula, I could probably make a list of 25 things I want for a new mom. Tender care from her family, a supportive household environment, a speedy healing from delivery, nice swaddle blankets, a postpartum doula....
But above all, if there is one thing I want for new mothers to have in their lives, it is BALANCE. I wish I could hand it to you on a platter. Wrapped in a bow and some rustic chic burlap. I truly do.
But you need to create balance in the way that is best for you. Your unique family has needs that only you can perceive and understand. There are logistical aspects of motherhood that need to be balanced: your work hours, your time spent running a household. And there mental aspects of motherhood that need balance as well. Re-charging yourself mentally will give you energy to support your family to the maximum capacity, but this is different for every mother. Some mothers re-charge through quiet time in the morning with an aromatic cup of coffee. Some re-charge through spiritual devotion/prayer. Some re-charge by interacting and connecting with other moms, your partner, or your friends. And for some mothers, a trip to Target and a chai tea is just a form of Heaven on Earth!
You may want to go back to work, you may not want to. You may want to have an hour or two a night to yourself, or you may want to intentionally spend all time with your children and family. All of this is okay and each individual family and mother will have their own preferences.
It may take some time to figure out what your perfect sense of balance actually looks and feels like. I encourage you to spend time figuring that out. And I acknowledge that there may well be times where everything feels crazy and out of balance. That's totally normal, too. Above all, remember that you deserve to feel composed and harmonious in your physical and mental endeavors in motherhood.
And this is what I wish for all new moms.